Trying to get Mommy Arrested!!!

I know I'm being really dramatic with that title but I am so angry with my 10 year old right now, I've got to blog to keep my hands busy!!

While we were on break Maddy was bragging how she was getting really good at this game she was playing on one of her kiddie websites. I'm really good with keeping tabs on her computer activity and decided it was time to do a check using the parental controls. However, an odd thing occurred when I went to look at her daily activity....it came up empty!

Mind you, we were snowed in, on vacation, and she spent a lot of time on the computer all that week, so where was the history? It wasn't even showing her logging in! Hm? I did the typical mommy thing: Don't Say Anything, Catch Her In The Act...right?

Today she asked to go on the computer after doing all of her chores and I knew this was going to be the perfect time to catch her. I let her play for about 20 minutes then asked her to help with something downstairs. The minute she hit the bottom step, I was running up 2 at a time.

The first thing on the screen is the game she was talking about on pause...but...hiding behind it was an open hotmail account and a FACEBOOK page!!! I KNOW!!! She's 10!! How the @#%^$ did she get an email account and a Facebook page without the stupid parent control going crazy. And that's when I saw it. She wasn't signed on as herself. When we got our new computer we gave her the old computer with her own sign on and parental controls up the wahzoo. But...I never erased hubby's sign-on which had no password and no restrictions!! GASP!! CLUTCH YOUR PEARLS!!

After I got over that shock I took the liberty of browsing her FB page - EGADS!!! The cursing!! The stories of who's making out with who in the hallways! The "I can't believe so-and-so was such a bitch".....MY CHILD IS TEN YEARS OLD...HOW THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO MAKE IT TO HIGH SCHOOL???

You all know that you're supposed to be at least 16 to get on FB, well, honey, this child is attending Hofstra University, she was born in 1983, and she graduated high school with honors!!

The rage!!

MUST

GET

IT

ALL

OUT

TO

KEEP

FROM

SNATCHING

HER

OUT

HER

SLEEP!!!

When I finally confronted her, you know when you are so angry you're voice gets that almost eerie silence to it. She immediately started bawling as if I actually did put my hands on her. I made her watch me type this in her status:

"This is Madison's mom. Madison created this page without her parent's permission.

This page will be deleted today. I will be calling other parents!"

I deleted her account. Deleted her email account. Deleted hubby's sign-on. Changed all of her restrictions on the computer so that now she can only go online with my sign-on "permission". I then told her there was no more computer until I can trust her with it, and it will only be used now for school assignments. She had to shower and be in bed by 7:30. Screaming and crying the whole time like I went and found hubby's belt or something! The nerve!

I was stammering and stuttering in my angry calm so much because I really just had to rush her out of my sight. I did call one parent (had to keep my threat real) that told me "I despise that damn FB but I let her go on in small doses and then I use it as punishment". Seriously? If you hate it, why in the world would you allow your child on it?! It was like talking to someone who just wants their kid to be their friend. She informed me that the majority of the 5th graders have FB accounts, and I informed her that I would be calling the principal tomorrow!

Sidebar: Because Maddy is maybe 1 of the 5 ethnic kids in her entire grade (only about 20 in the entire middle school), my girlfriend swears it's the difference in how African-American kids are raised and how Caucasian kids are raised. These damn sneaky ass friends of hers! Ugh! All conspiring and happy about how cute it is to "act like teenagers LMAO"...Excuse ME?

Anyway, you all know how I feel about children on FB, now I have to go and let 'em know at the middle school.

I have to keep repeating that she's 10!! My mother says we need to just ship her sneaky ass to boarding school - Um, are you paying?

I've got 10 new gray hairs and an impending migraine now from suppressing the beatdown.

Here's the question: How old is old enough to be on FB, have a cell phone, have email?

Maddy Story #342

This Sunday my aunt offered to watch the kids for me while hubby and I attended my BFFLs wedding (mom went to visit bro). I went to pick them up early so aunty could go to work because the running joke is my uncle "don't know nothing bout birthin no babies!"

As I'm waking Linky up to get him fed and changed she tells me how the evening went. The usual: Linky played football with Uncle, Maddy packed a box of Mac-N-Cheese because she didn't think aunty had any to make (which aunty thought was cute and they made it together), Linky fought sleep, Maddy had to be warned only one time for saying, "I'm bored"...you know the usual kiddie sleepover stuff.

She pauses and says, "I soooooo wanted to give you a great report until this morning". Now you all know that I give Maddy "the talk" before she goes anywhere and it usually begins with: "Don't embarrass me!"

As she begins to tell me what happened, uncle walks by just shaking his head, I'm thinking, "Oh, lord, now what?"

Apparently, right before going to bed the night before Maddy asked for hot chocolate (this is my mother's doing), and aunty said 'no' because the a/c went out downstairs and it was way too hot for hot chocolate. Then she felt bad because Maddy was soooooooooo good up until then and she decided to let her have chocolate milk instead thinking that was a nice compromise especially in the heat. Maddy went to bed afterwards with no problem...or so they thought.

Uncle wakes up in the morning as he always does to let the dog out in the backyard. When he goes to let her back in he notices her licking up something on his newly treated deck. He asks my aunt, "Hey, by any chance did you feed Linky outside last night on the deck?" When she replies no, he goes outside for a closer look, with her looking out from the door. "Maybe a raccoon got sick or something?" They speculate. And then they look really closely and realize it's Maddy's chocolate milk from the night before curdled on the deck for the night's heat.

ARE YOU SERIOUS? For two days, I had my fingers crossed that nothing bad happened to the poor 14 years old dog!! When asked what on earth possessed her to do that, you want to know what her response was? "But I wanted HOT chocolate". Any other kid would have flushed it down the toilet, poured it down the drain, maybe, maybe thrown it in the bushes, maybe! But my daughter, what does she do? She pours it on the freshly treated deck right outside the sliding dang doors!

Needless to say, I grounded her for the day, and when I told hubby, because he knew just how much work went into treating uncle's deck, he added on another day to the punishment.

Wow! I'm also now rationing out the hot chocolate that her nana seems to keep buying for her!