Reasons Why I Teach #36 - Email Brought Tears To My Eyes

Here's an email I received from one of my graduates that I passed for the grace of God. Sometimes you just have to know your students and what they are capable of. I included my response back to her as well. I was so overcome, saddened, overjoyed, and proud of how far this young lady had come when in the eyes of most, she wasn't making progress at all. See why...

Hey Ms.E
I never really got the chance to thank you for everything you did. It might not have seemed like much but just listening and caring to what I had to say meant more then I can ever tell you. You helped me see in a side of me I had forgot was even there for so long, a side of me that the depression and self harm had buried and destroyed years ago. I still have a LONG way to go before I'm even close to getting any better but in a way I can't explain, you helped me see that there is hope and it is possible to be happy again. You helped me realize my words needs to heard because they do nothing but destroy me if I keep them inside.
The reason I keep a lot of things unsaid is because no one ever really cared what I had to say and judged me for it. Not many people understand depression and serious cases like mine get over looked because people just think it's for attention or just a phase. Like when "Emo" was said as an emotion and the action was cutting. I can't even tell you how many times I was called emo in the class or jokes about me being depressed or suicidal. The world is full of judgement people who don't understand how Much pain you have to be in to put that blade to your wrist or even think about suicide. The Comments and jokes really got to me which is why I finally just shut myself out away from everyone at the end. I just couldn't take it.
Sorry, I'm not sure why I'm telling you this. I just wanted to say thank you. What you wrote in my year book actually made me cry when I read it. You are an amazing teacher and I wish I had you freshmen year. It would of definitely changed my high school experience completely and me.
Hope you have a wonderful summer and hopefully see you soon.(:
Love, Student

Dear student,

You are the reason why I wanted to teach! Your words just brought tears to my eyes. I wish too that I had you as a freshman or on my caseload. I also wish you told me about the comments in class. I'm disappointed in myself that I didn't catch them. I, too, suffer from depression and am currently on medication to improve myself, but I try extremely hard not to let my students or my children see my pain. That's why I kept telling you to trust me that I understood what you were dealing with.

I hope our year together will help you keep your voice no matter what. And please please believe me when I say that if you need to talk, I am here for you. Ok?

Love,

Ms.E