Thursday, January 6, 2011

Trying to get Mommy Arrested!!!

I know I'm being really dramatic with that title but I am so angry with my 10 year old right now, I've got to blog to keep my hands busy!!

While we were on break Maddy was bragging how she was getting really good at this game she was playing on one of her kiddie websites. I'm really good with keeping tabs on her computer activity and decided it was time to do a check using the parental controls. However, an odd thing occurred when I went to look at her daily came up empty!

Mind you, we were snowed in, on vacation, and she spent a lot of time on the computer all that week, so where was the history? It wasn't even showing her logging in! Hm? I did the typical mommy thing: Don't Say Anything, Catch Her In The Act...right?

Today she asked to go on the computer after doing all of her chores and I knew this was going to be the perfect time to catch her. I let her play for about 20 minutes then asked her to help with something downstairs. The minute she hit the bottom step, I was running up 2 at a time.

The first thing on the screen is the game she was talking about on pause...but...hiding behind it was an open hotmail account and a FACEBOOK page!!! I KNOW!!! She's 10!! How the @#%^$ did she get an email account and a Facebook page without the stupid parent control going crazy. And that's when I saw it. She wasn't signed on as herself. When we got our new computer we gave her the old computer with her own sign on and parental controls up the wahzoo. But...I never erased hubby's sign-on which had no password and no restrictions!! GASP!! CLUTCH YOUR PEARLS!!

After I got over that shock I took the liberty of browsing her FB page - EGADS!!! The cursing!! The stories of who's making out with who in the hallways! The "I can't believe so-and-so was such a bitch".....MY CHILD IS TEN YEARS OLD...HOW THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO MAKE IT TO HIGH SCHOOL???

You all know that you're supposed to be at least 16 to get on FB, well, honey, this child is attending Hofstra University, she was born in 1983, and she graduated high school with honors!!

The rage!!














When I finally confronted her, you know when you are so angry you're voice gets that almost eerie silence to it. She immediately started bawling as if I actually did put my hands on her. I made her watch me type this in her status:
"This is Madison's mom. Madison created this page without her parent's permission.
This page will be deleted today. I will be calling other parents!"

I deleted her account. Deleted her email account. Deleted hubby's sign-on. Changed all of her restrictions on the computer so that now she can only go online with my sign-on "permission". I then told her there was no more computer until I can trust her with it, and it will only be used now for school assignments. She had to shower and be in bed by 7:30. Screaming and crying the whole time like I went and found hubby's belt or something! The nerve!

I was stammering and stuttering in my angry calm so much because I really just had to rush her out of my sight. I did call one parent (had to keep my threat real) that told me "I despise that damn FB but I let her go on in small doses and then I use it as punishment". Seriously? If you hate it, why in the world would you allow your child on it?! It was like talking to someone who just wants their kid to be their friend. She informed me that the majority of the 5th graders have FB accounts, and I informed her that I would be calling the principal tomorrow!

Sidebar: Because Maddy is maybe 1 of the 5 ethnic kids in her entire grade (only about 20 in the entire middle school), my girlfriend swears it's the difference in how African-American kids are raised and how Caucasian kids are raised. These damn sneaky ass friends of hers! Ugh! All conspiring and happy about how cute it is to "act like teenagers LMAO"...Excuse ME?

Anyway, you all know how I feel about children on FB, now I have to go and let 'em know at the middle school.

I have to keep repeating that she's 10!! My mother says we need to just ship her sneaky ass to boarding school - Um, are you paying?

I've got 10 new gray hairs and an impending migraine now from suppressing the beatdown.

Here's the question: How old is old enough to be on FB, have a cell phone, have email?


Anonymous said...

An interesting conundrum, Phoebe. It may not be a case of 'old enough' at all, though. Jim's youngest is 10 and she has had a cell phone for over a year. She has email and a Facebook page. But she is very mature, not sneaky and very responsible. she herself uses it wisely. In contrast, her brother is 12 (13 later this month) and he has none of these thimgs because he is NOT mature or responsible. "It's not the years--it's the mileage" in a way!

Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres said...

Thank you Gloria! Well said, and so true. She definitely is not ready...clearly she's smart enough, just not "wise" enough!

Michelle said...

Hey Pheebs,

I share your sentiments with respect to FB and children. Jamel has been asking for a page, but that is not happening until he is in high school and then that it is still up for debate. I guess 16 is an appropriate age. Our children are exposed to too much as it is! Cell phones I am not a fan of either. However I did get Jamel one for Christmas ONLY because he is traveling to Europe this summer and has to have one for his trip, otherwise he wouldn't have gotten that either. You know we are different when it comes to how we raise our children, so you should expect them to be shocked at your rage and anger. Sad but true. You did the right thing and I support your parenting skills 100%%%%

Michelle said...

Hey Pheebs,

WOW!!!!!!!!!! I understand your anger and frustration. Our children are exposed to way too much. I share your sentiments with respect to FB. Jamel has been asking for a page for a long while now and he is not getting a page anytime soon. However, I did get him a cell phone for Christmas ONLY because he is traveling to Europe this summer, otherwise he WOULD NOT have gotten a phone. You know WE are different with respect to how we raise our children. We are much more stern than they are, so don't be shocked when they wonder why you are so angry. You handled that situation well and I applaud you for being involved in what your child is doing. More parents need to monitor what their kids are doing.


Anonymous said...

I've seen it both ways as well, since i teach our beloved (hellion) middle schoolers. Every school I've taught in starts middle school at 5th and I usually teach 5th and 8th.

I've seen the WORST and most filthy, vile, and disgusting discussions from middle schoolers on FB. Oddly enough, they tend to mellow out in high school with it. The only time I've seen age appropriate conversation with middle schoolers is when they have family members (and parents) as their friends, and/or when their parents have their passwords. For examples, I have my little cousins on my page and they're pretty tame. I also realize that they can easily block things they don't want me to see.. but, I doubt they are doing all that.

Now my own middle school aged siblings... I done had to get CRUNK with them online and put them n their place b/c obviously my mom isn't.

So all that to say that if you said no FB and the little diva did it anyway, she's proven she's not trustworthy. I say allow her to have those things when YOU'RE comfortable with it.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and maybe you need to show her that video of the uncle who spanked his teenage nephew for posting craziness on facebook... and made him post the video on his page. pure hilarity.

Anonymous said...

Cousin... it is Jeanna... Listen Here... she ain't old enough if she had to hide it! Did you have a cellphone at 10?? no sir! Nuff said!

You might be mad as hell right now but don't forget to let Maddy know that this will all make sense later and she was possibly exposing herself to child predators and all that mess. She may even thank you for not tearing her tail up. : )
Love you and Keep up the good work detective!

cuzzo said...

well for the later part of your post....kordell has a cell phone cuz he walks home from school and a situation occurred where i couldnt get him cuz they didnt go straight home but to mcdonalds with another parent and i flipped so he now has to call when he gets out of school on the cell and then from the house phone when he gets home....he is not allowed to get face book cuz i dont think children should have a facebook....and no need for email because you see your friends in school...mind you i think the cell phone takes the place of that but i randomly snatch the cell phone up and go thru it so he never knows when i am going to take it to delete anything.....but he is also very responsible so i agree with the first poster that it depends on the child and your values but maturity and trust go a long way....

DaddysFishBowl said...

WOOOOOOWWWWW, this post is so crazy. 10 years old with an email and FB account? The fact that it's not an isolated event makes it scary. Kids grow up so quickly now days, it really is a shame. Good job on the way that you handled the situation. I love the fact that you called a parent, it shows that you're serious and when he's done something wrong, you don't care about how her friends look at her.

Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres said...

Thanks Cuz and Dad Fishbowl!

I appreciate the support and feedback...and always it makes me feel validated when I hear from other parents going through the same type of ish!

Anonymous said...

i found out my little cousins were on facebook and when they friended me i PROMPTLY reported them to their mother as they are both under 13 (facebook age is actually 13). No one's taking me seriously but it freaks me out that they would go on facebook and expose themselves to all that rubbish