Monday, January 7, 2013

Lincoln and His Beautiful Thing - Hilarity!

Mothers of sons, I am still learning how to navigate being the mother of a little boy!  I had the most uncomfortable (albeit hilarious) conversation with my 4 year old son.

While giving Link a shower, he was all lathered up and was pulling very hard on his penis, and the following discussion took place:

Me: Linky, you really shouldn't pull so hard, you could hurt yourself.
Link: But mommy, it's my penis and I can do what I want with it.
Me: Well, yes.
Link: And it is beautiful. Don't you think my penis is beautiful mommy?
Me: I think all of you is beautiful and you are very handsome
Link: But mommy, come on, have you seen my penis? It really is beautiful. (He stands with his legs wide open pointing at it)
Me: (speechless)
Link: And mommy, you're beautiful and I touch you.  So I can touch my penis too.
Me (speechless)
Link:  Mommy, do you want to touch my beautiful penis?
Me: No, I don't. And don't you let anyone else touch it either.
Link: Oh, alright. But it really is beautiful though.
Me: What do you want for dessert?
Link: I already had dessert!  I thought I was going to bed, but I'll have some more ice-cream!
Me:  (rapidly getting him out of the shower)
You cannot make this stuff up in a million years.  Everyone that I have shared this story with told me that my son just practiced his game on me, and to be careful for his teenage years when he tries those same lines on a young girl: "Hey, I touch you and you're beautiful, you want to touch something else that's beautiful?"

I'm not ready!!

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